Sunday, April 27, 2008

I love you... but...

From the desk of Contagiously Confident Monica...

Think of the power of "I love you, but..." and it will help you remember to watch your use of the words But and However. Using either one will negate what you have said before that word.

More importantly, if you are contagiously confident about what you are saying, then there would be no need for a but or however. For example...

I think you are a great person... but just not right for me at this time. (you may think this person is great, but just not great for you... instead try this:)
I think you are a great person and at this time, I am not the right one for you to share it with.

You are a fine employee... but we are not able to keep you on staff as of today. (If they were so fine, you would find a way to keep them - bar none. Try this instead:)
You are a fine employee. I wish we could keep all of our fine employees. The budget just does not allow for it.

I liked your Contagious Conference last time, however, the money situation prevents me from going this time. (in this case, you are allowing the result that you did not like to cloud the feelings you have about that which you did like - the money situation. Instead try this:)
I liked your Contagious Conference last time. At this time, my money situation is such that I have to reserve funds for the essentials. Do you have a payment plan to make it easier for me right now?

The answer to that last one is yes - just ask! Those who exhibit contagious confidence, say things they are confident about, without the use of but or however and they Ask, Ask, Ask, Ask, Ask, Ask, Ask, and then ask again.

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