Sunday, April 27, 2008

I love you... but...

From the desk of Contagiously Confident Monica...

Think of the power of "I love you, but..." and it will help you remember to watch your use of the words But and However. Using either one will negate what you have said before that word.

More importantly, if you are contagiously confident about what you are saying, then there would be no need for a but or however. For example...

I think you are a great person... but just not right for me at this time. (you may think this person is great, but just not great for you... instead try this:)
I think you are a great person and at this time, I am not the right one for you to share it with.

You are a fine employee... but we are not able to keep you on staff as of today. (If they were so fine, you would find a way to keep them - bar none. Try this instead:)
You are a fine employee. I wish we could keep all of our fine employees. The budget just does not allow for it.

I liked your Contagious Conference last time, however, the money situation prevents me from going this time. (in this case, you are allowing the result that you did not like to cloud the feelings you have about that which you did like - the money situation. Instead try this:)
I liked your Contagious Conference last time. At this time, my money situation is such that I have to reserve funds for the essentials. Do you have a payment plan to make it easier for me right now?

The answer to that last one is yes - just ask! Those who exhibit contagious confidence, say things they are confident about, without the use of but or however and they Ask, Ask, Ask, Ask, Ask, Ask, Ask, and then ask again.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Confidence and Creativity: is there a Correlation?

Be careful: A lack of confidence can rob you of your creativity. A lack of confidence breeds negative thinking and negative moods, which literally block your ability to be creative. (As a side note, confidence is contagious and so is a lack of confidence! )

Here is one example:
You are on a tight budget, you see the economy as the worst it's ever been and you lose your confidence in your own ability to make your sales quota. This creates a lack of confidence about your ability to make it through the next few months. With all of your focus on this lack of confidence, you may bypass the ideas that could help you find new ways to make sales, new ways to save money, and new ways to achieve the same goals in times that you did not expect nor plan for. Creativity is one of the keys to success.

Here is another:
You reach your 40th birthday and instead of thinking of all the creative ways that you could celebrate, you get down, bummed and maybe even depressed about how you are now "old". Maybe you even lack confidence about your accomplishments to date or your ability to progress in your new age. (Hog wash, by the way) This lack of confidence takes away your ability to see all those things that you could do to celebrate, all those things that you could still achieve and contribute to. Without that creativity, your feelings only get worse.

It is not clear which came first - confidence affects creativity or creativity affects confidence, but the truth is they are connected. Perhaps this came to mind because tomorrow is my birthday and I am beginning to wonder if I have done enough or acheived enough for my age. Heck, instead of worrying about that, I am going to think of all the great things I have done, the great people I have met and find a way to celebrate with as many of them as possible tomorrow!

Have a great one and stay contagiously confident!